Just thought it would be intresting to hear some of your funny/wierd punting experiences.

One time I was pumping a regular WG in doggy, then started seeing  her pussy was foaming some orange colored discharge.  Started freaking out as I thought I had banged her too hard
and she was bleeding, turns out she had stuck a pessary tablet up her pussy (for cleaning), but got too wet and it all started to come out.  She couldn't stop apologising, was quite funny at
the time.  Another time I was DATY on another older WG, she came so hard that she locked her legs around my neck WWF style and nearly took my neck off, had to see chiinese bonesetter next day to help realign my neck.  Maybe its just me but I do get into some funny punting situations quite often.

Anyone else have funny tales to share?

A few come to mind:

1)  I was fingering a cute blonde MILF and after going a bit deeper to feel her cervix, I pulled out a wet, partially bloody tampon
2)  I was fucking a cute blonde WG and she just kept hiccuping.  She was super embarrassed...
3)  Farting in the middle of sex.  Not a pussy fart, a real fart.  I've experienced both myself doing it and also the girl.
4)  Squirting on my face in DATY.
5)  Super hairy / bushy pussies, OMG.
6)  Being with a VERY vocal sugarbaby in a hotel room, only to find out the next morning my colleague is staying next door.  And the walls are super thin, LOL!

This happen when I was on like one of 2nd or 3rd punt, so I was a bit nervous at the time.

I was in Fuji looking for the Russian girl Irina (the one that offers you water lol and at that point I haven't seen her yet just read about her from reviews). Didn't really write down the room but I figure there aren't that many Russians can't be that hard since I remember it was near the bottom floors ~ 4th.

Start knocking on door, a MILF-ish looking blond Russian opens up and I walk in. Hmmmm she looks decent, not amazing but figure she'd make up for it in performance based on what I read about in the review. She sits down, say hello, and wait for me to get in the showers. I'm like aite kinda disappointed she didn't offer me water like she did to the other bros... but wait a minute come to think of it her tits are quite big which was not Irina's description.

Ask for her name and she says Ogla or some shit. At this point I'm really disappointed cuz I had my heart set on trying out Irina... and as a new punter I didn't really have the balls to just straight up tell her the truth and walk out. So I started thinking of an excuse.... alright maybe I'll pretend my phone is vibrating and excuse myself out.

I reach for my phone, yelled out "oh shit" to act like it was unexpected and an emergency. In my haste to whip out the phone I lose grip and it lands firmly next to her feet screen side up. It's blank.

She hands me it and I keep playing along.... pretending like its ringing and I'm reading who the caller is. I tell her, "sorry my boss is looking for me it's a work emergency...".

She replies with a deadpan face "it wasn't ringing"



The only worse thing about getting caught lying is admitting to it so I make up even more BS. "Oh uh.... my phone doesn't really ring or vibrate."

She's straight up staring at me now... "then how do you know it's your boss?"

In my head I'm like fuckkkkkk please let me go with just a speck of dignity.....

"Um... usually only he would call during this hour".

She burst out laughing... "do I scare you?"

I said "no ma'am.... sorry work is...."

She cuts me off with a laughter, "you can go if you want to"

I apologize profusely and see myself out.

I was so embarrassed I wanted to just go home, curl up in a ball and wank off myself. Started walking to exit Fuji but thankfully I started thinking with my dick again. Decided at least I know Irina is not in that room lmao. Think I either just turned the corner or went up a floor and found another Russian blond... this time I ask for her name. "Irina". Yesssssssss I walked in. She offered me water like what I read.... and I ended up CIMing her just like what I read too. I felt like the universe felt bad for trolling too hard so it let me have a really good punt with Irina to make up for it.



[ Last edited by  Zodek at 28-1-2019 18:26 ]

Excellent!  That tampon one though...

I had a regular in Pattaya, one time when I arrived my first night, was half pissed and went into her bar. Her boss told me she was not there, but they way she said it sounded like she had properly left. So I had a few beers and ended up taking another bird back to mine, this bird was awesome, but that is besides the point here.

Next night when I swing by again, there is my regular... shit... she is not happy I broke the 'one rule' we had, no other girls from her bar!! I said sorry, many times... I even bar fined her for later that night, as my hotel was nearby, I would bar fine her, go out for drinks then pick her up on the way back. So later that night I turn up, when I arrive her friend is laughing saying my lady is very drunk. She sees me, comes walking over and fully punches me in the jaw! a proper right hook! POW!!

A few nearby girls shit themselves and run over, grab her away. A few of my friends are big spenders in this bar, so mama san also fully shits herself too! Even the big bosses son comes bolting over, now everyone is looking over I am half pissed still trying to figure out what just happened.

Turns out when I left some Japanese guy was buying a few girls shots of thai whisky.

Mama san keeps apologising, I explained what happened and made them promise not to do anything to her, just let her go home and sleep it off. Next morning, there is a knock at my door, it is her with a giant basket of fruit

Needless to say, she made up for it that morning

I visited this amp that I had been to many times before with the usual 40 something milfs. But low and behold is this hot skinny busty Chinese girl with pearly white skin. I ask for an hour and she says she only has 30 minutes. I get mad to leave, but she puts her hands on my chest and rubs her big Ds against me. So I stay. She gives me the most amazing massage and on the flip I’m pawing at those beautiful fluffy breasts while she playfully slaps them away. She’s working LB like a pro nice and slow and....

Booom! I bust volcanos style in the air with multiple peter north shots and I’ll be damned the DOOR SWINGS OPEN and  there is a fellow punter staring at her, staring at me, and staring at my cock spewing out sheets of semen.

Did he shut the door? No, he just stood there in disbelief.

Sad thing is, I never saw her again.

This is still one of my best.........

http://forum.sex141.com/eforum/v ... highlight=%2Baurufc

I used to travel for work to Singapore frequently. Started seeing a girl from a local site there, and because the girls there are on a 60 day Visa, got to repeat many times after building some chemistry. Started to book her for 2-3 hours at a time, brought her dinner and wine regularly when I see her, all the works. Got to the point where we went BBFS by accident (condom broke), obviously got tested after, and made her do the same, but during the session she just said "fuck it" since it was already broken and I had the best sex of my life.

Got dangerously close to getting emotionally attached. She was about the same age as me, killer body and looked like one of my ex crush from high school. She offered me 6k CNY to book her private for a day in HK, am still tempted to do it. Just have not done it because I've been busy with work.

Not soon after she has retired from the industry. She is still open to booking for a private time though, so am still thinking of booking her again. I have not had the same satisfaction with any WGs anywhere in the world, as I have with her. There is some emotional attachment in the process I guess.

The Forlorn Condom: Mongkok 2003
http://forum.sex141.com/eforum/viewthread.php?tid=28353

NOTE: I wrote this in 2003 when i was living in Bangkok and in Hong Kong on a visa-run.
++++++++++++++
Here's a tale of hobbying in Mongkok--a district of Hong Kong that I enjoy for its lurid neon, vibrant streetlife and urban Asian ambience. Ya want a chandelier or a squiggly neon energy-saving bulb, there are plenty of lighting shops. Ya want some boiled pig innards or a mahjong table? But when you pass the cooked-food center on Shanghai Street you are in the thick of it: lovely young mainland lasses frisking to and fro. I catch their eyes, they smirk. If I could manage a few sentences in Putonghua I might attempt to book an appointment. But I might fail in any case, as this area is run by [NAME REDACTED]--they arrange everything, they are polite, they smoke too much but they are good businesspeople and you are welcomed everywhere.

There are establishments every ten meters on some blocks of this district. They have signs--usually purple or yellow--with numbers, and though the SARS "menace" has been vanquished, biz across HK seems to be off, so the prices are a bit lower.

I stayed in Yau Ma Tei, which is close to Mongkok, and never have I seen so many streetwalkers in this district. It's pretty entertaining at night these days--anywhere around the far end of the Temple Street market, side streets, all over the place, mainland Chinese women lounge on the greasy humid sidewalks.

Still, as a non-fluent gwailo, I stick to the establishments. Decor varies, as does the talent. I've had to send 'em back, and I've had them stick one foot inside the door, see I'm a gwailo and literally run away. But now, it seems to be a buyer's market. In any case, the guys at the front are friendly and try to set you up.

In a row of "270" places, I select a "300" place that advertises 45 minutes. The place is nicely decorated: soft lighting, new marble, round shower stall in the inevitably tiny room. I ask the guy for a "slim Chinese girl," he says it'll be 350, I say sign says 300, he points out that's for "Malaysian" girls. So what. My flight doesn't leave until 22:30, I had to check out of the hotel at noon, and I've been running around all day doing errands. I've got a change of clothes in my bag, and I want some young mainland Guest Relations Officer to soap me silly, align my erotic chakras and send me on my way with a smile.

The guy says "I try to find a Chinese girl for you" and takes off. I take off my shoes and recline. The TV is showing, not the inevitable porn, but a local channel--a relief. The air-con feels good.

A knock on the door and the guy arrives with three black-haired honeys, they arrange themselves in room/doorway/hallway (the rooms are quite small and you're always in close proximity). I look them over, and enjoy the assortment. Sometimes they just bring one girl, now there's three and they all look good. I pick the one with the goofiest smile and the nicest cleavage. Everyone else leaves. we exchange pleasantries in whatever Chinese dialect I can manage (she speaks zero English, usually the case) and she strips off.

I'm often amazed at how large and lovely Chinese breasts can be. Omigawd, these were stellar. Did Mao know about this? If so, then what the hell was all that Great Leap Forward nonsense about? Breasts are starting to short-circuit my brain. Again.

I start playing with them. She's into it, but indicates we should shower up. OK OK.

Scrub-a-dub-dub and onto the too-short bed flanked on three sides and ceiling with mirrors. This girl is marvelously aggressive. Soon she's performing the "Poison Dragon" with skill and power--I wonder what Sifu taught her these sexual martial arts. She switches to virtuoso "flute-playing" and watches herself in the mirror. I am enjoying this.

OK, grab that condom. Good plan as I'm about to lose it with this laughing, ferocious creature with the dynamite jugs. She's got freckles, rare for an Asian girl. The sides of her nose crinkles when she laughs. She's short and slim and has a great ass. And did I mention those frontal lobes?

Now it's time for the ol' yougetontopofme/ohnononobuddy, YOU get on top debate, which I always lose. She plants herself on the smooth mattress and I stare down at freckles and all. OK, just a second here, I'm going to lick those nipples. Just a sec.

Chinese pubic hair is, in general, a lovely sight. I wish I had about 45 hours with this girl.

About 0.8 seconds remain until entry. The phone rings.

Wot..de...FOCK?!? Why is the phone ringing? What possible goddam reason could there be for a phone call at this point?

She picks up the phone, listens for three seconds, look of alarm, says to me "Gau-jon." I ask what?, she repeats the phrase. Hops off the bed and grabs, first, her bra, and sheaths those beauties. Then other articles of clothing are going on. This is all wrong.

I have not moved, I am still there on all fours, wearing nothing but a condom, as if she was still underneath me. I refuse to move. She gets her clothes on, waves sorry, and exits.

I'm alone in this room.

We'd established that I speak a bit of Cantonese, and I know the Cantophrase for "police" and I bet she did too. Plus, I have been in a HK guesthouse when the HK police arrive and it's not a serene event (this was in '93 in Mirador Mansions, when they were enforcing a building-code regulation: 5:00AM, sound asleep, an entire squad entered this tiny guesthouse banging their fists on every surface and screaming PASSPORT! PASSPORT! at the top of their lungs, not subtle). So, I'm confused, but not worried. I am, however, extremely horny.

I grab some tissue paper, peel off the condom and toss it in the waste bin next to its gold foil wrapper. The condom sits there.

The Lament of the Condom: "imported all the way from the USA, to perform my glorious brief task inside some heavenly Asian cooze, to be the butterfly for a fleeting moment but now because of "Gau-jon" I fail in my duties." The condom is forlorn.

I pull on my shorts and recline. I don't know what's going on. But I'm not leaving. Someone can come knock on the door and tell me what the fuck's up. I have time to make my flight. I watch the non-porn channel.

Knock. The guy is there with two straw-colored-hair honeys in black minidresses. I can't choose, they're both cute as hell. I pick one, then as the other one turns to leave, I note she has more interesting cleavage. I change my mind and pick her. This process took about 20 seconds. She's in the room, the door is shut, and we grin at each other.

Miss Tang, she speaks a tiny amount of English. I love the hair color. She peels off her clothes and damn, another just fabulous, brain-boiling pair of breasts. Half the size of the previous occupant, but large and firm and shapely. She has a wonderful body, taller than Miss Gau-jon.

I want to play with her breasts, but she indicates she's ticklish. Some women like their breasts played with, some don't. At this point, it's not a prime factor. Into the shower we go where I am scrubbed again.

We exit and towel off. She points to the waste bin where Forlorn Condom sits next to its gold foil exoskeleton, then points to me questioningly. I shake my head no, no ma'am, I have noooooo idea where that came from.

I recline and she launches into a marvelous and vigorous blowjob. She looks me in the eyes. Then her eyes slide sideways so she can check herself out in the mirror.

I wonder if I should be visiting HK more often. And, I congrat myself on always bringing a spare condom.

Yougetontopofme/ohnononobuddy, YOU get on top. She plants herself and looks up at me. I stare down. Only the hair atop her head has been colored. Chinese pubic hair is a lovely sight. OK, I'm going to lick those nipples. Just a sec. She's more relaxed now. Tissue self-erects under my tongue.

Finally, "Condom II: The Sequel" performs its allotted function. We switch positions (never a breeze in these MKK cubes) and there are no problems, just fun, frolic, shuddering culmination.

Tissues and waste bin. She takes a look, glances at me, laughs and points a finger. Then holds up two fingers in a V-sign. I grin and shrug. What can I say?

Scrubbed again.

She puts her sheaths back on, touches up her makeup and is out the door. I dress in my nice clean clothes, smiling at the evening's events.

In the lobby, I ask what happened. "Oh," says the guy, "no problem, she (indicating second girl I presume) has ID." So, who knows. He asks how the service was, I say great, and ask for a name card. They give me one, with a map to the place "PALACE CLUB" it's called, as if that matters).

I pay HK$350 and saunter toward my hotel.

Jack
August 8, 2003

I was on my last night in Sing, sitting in Harry's bar behind the Four Floors of Whores, watching the cumings and goings of punters escorting their takeaways to taxis. I was introduces to the fun passtime my my Sing resident friend, of guessing the interval from takeaway to return. It is judged through experience, and relies on knowledge of the game: the hotness of the girl, the horniness of the punter, the time of night, day of the week, ST, LT, and of course gender. If it is a drunk or inexperienced punter with an  unexpected transsexual, it could be moments after the fumblinlg starts in the taxi, a scream, and an exchange of money to go away. I believe this is a percentage of the income of the transsexual escort.

I was on my own on the balcony, but there were other ex-pats nearby. We were joined by a particularly tall east European man on the balcony (memory says Czech, but I'm not sure) who annouces to all present "where can I get a girl". Now I'm not a resident, but trying to be helpful, "You see that bar there, with the 12 or so south east asian girls leaning over the balcony? I suggest in there, or any of the other bars inside". However this wasn't what he wanted. He wanted a freebie. I said I wasn't local so I could not be of more help as I didn't know that scene. He goes on to explain that he has already had a professional experience this afternoon, straight after getting off the plane, and doesn't want to repeat it. Why we ask? Because it was a threesome, and now he wants something less PSE. He continues: one of the professionals said she had her period so she offered anal, which he took. While accomodating, this is unusual in this part of the world I thought. However what was more unusual was that she apparently refused to take her underware off because of this. Now everyone is listening. "Was she unusually tall for an asian lady?" Someone asked? "Yes, why?".

Now at this point my mind has embellished the memory by having everyone simultaneously face-palming. Probably not quite true, but it sums up the expressions on everyone around me. Another asks if he is quite sure she was entirely female? "Of course!" he asserts. "Like her?", says another, pointing at a pre-op returning to the back door of The Towers after a scream in the taxi moment. "That's a woman!" He says. "Not so much sunshine" is the general reply. He stares. The cogs turn in his head. He was very pale to start with, but he appears to go pale blue as the realisation hits: he's been in the country a few hours and he's already been balls deep with a tranny.