"Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you"

"You say I'm a bitch like it's a bad thing"

"Well this day was a total waste of make-up"

"Well aren't we a bloody ray of sunshine?"

"Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after."

"Do I look like a people person?"

"This isn't an office. It's hell with fluorescent lighting"

"I started out with nothing and still have most of it left"

"Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. You choose"

"Why don't you try practicing random acts of intelligence and senseless acts of self-control?"

"I'm not crazy. I've been in a very bad mood for 30 years."

"Sarcasm is just one more service I offer."

"Do they ever shut up on your planet?"

"I'm not your type. I'm not inflatable"

"Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't gone to sleep yet"

"Back off!! You're standing in my aura."

"Don't worry. I forgot your name too."

"I work 45 hours a week to be this poor."

"Not all men are annoying. Some are dead."

"Wait...I'm trying to imagine you with a personality"

"Chaos, panic and disorder ... my work here is done."

"Ambivalent? Well yes and no."

"You look like shit. Is that the style now?"

"Earth is full. Go home."

"Aw, did I step on your poor little bitty ego?"

"I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert."

Work been getting to you then, bro?
Have a good rest over the CNY, and hope the new one brings you luck, wealth, health and big tits!

January - Customer Disservice Because we're not satisfied until you're not satisfied.

Consulting. If you're not a part of the solution, there's good money to be made in prolonging the problem.

Give Up. At some point, hanging in there just makes you look like an even bigger loser.

Discovery. A company that will go to the ends of the Earth for its people will find it can hire them for about 10% of the cost of Americans.

Procrastination. Hard work often pays off after time, but laziness always pays off now.

Consistency. It's only a virtue if you're not a screwup.

Challenges. I expected times like this - but I never thought they'd be so bad, so long, and so frequent

Idiocy. Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.

Meetings. None of us is as dumb as all of us.

Motivation. If a pretty poster and a cute saying are all it takes to motivate you, you probably have a very easy job. The kind robots will be doing soon.

Planning. Much work remains to be done before we can announce our total failure to make any progress.

Teamwork. A few harmless flakes working together can unleash an avalanche of destruction.



Those are the monthly quote from the calendar I gave to my boss