Although I regret to tell you guys of my friend who met a hotel clerk, dated for 1 year and was somehow coerced into marrying her.  Sigh...  pretty sad, she was 25 and gave him an ultimatum.  Now the biggest problem is, do I tell him that I boned her before as well as 2 other friends while we were in Shen Zhen?   sigh...   

He is a good friend but has a lot of bad luck with chicks here in the US.  I feel really bad and don't know what to do.

Tell him

Nothing worst than a wife who has a hidden agenda.  It's passport now, but what next?  You wouldn't want your friend to work himself to   death only to find his life savings withdrawn or worst, he is jailed for all her debts after she borrowed a shitload from the banks.


Lots of things could go wrong from marrying a manipulative bitch.

Do your duty and inform him.  Even if it is losing a friend, it's worth helping a bro out.
My .02 cents.

How has she tricked him? Girls sleeping around to find a husband happens everywhere - that's what girls do, and as you say, she was not a hooker. Guys sleeping around to find a wife is standard practice, isn't it? I'm sure you don't mean that the girl should have been a virgin.

And even if the girl married your friend for his passport, so what? That doesn't necessarily mean that she won't be a good wife. Girls marry for material advantage all the time. HK girls marry for money and no one thinks it's bad.

The real question is whether or not they are happy together. So I definitely would not tell your friend that you had slept with his wife before they got married. You just might end up making the both of them hate you, and it's really not your business to interfere, even if the guy is your friend. Unless your motive is to force a divorce, it would be wiser to keep your past sexual involvement with the girl to yourself.

Ask the lady to tell him frankly and if not ......you better tell him her history
He won't blame on you guys as you forks had met her before him and he still can find another
His your good pal and you should inform him early .... NO MORE DELAY
I think he will understand you

I agree with SiMianFO, unless you are certain that the girl is out to ruin your friend, keep your advice to yourself. I've seen situations like this backfire on the well-intentioned advice-giver before. They are already married, and your friend is an adult who must accept responsibility for his own life. You might end up ruining a good marriage, or the marriage might turn out all right, and you will have made two enemies. Also, I have learned to be suspicious of my own motives in situations like this.

[ Last edited by  BornAgain at 3-1-2008 11:43 ]

My personal view is that it is too late to "tell all". If they were still not married, I might have a talk with the girl privately to try to understand her motives and how she wants to handle her past history with your friend. However, they are already married, and unless you have proof that she is out to ruin your friend, you should stay quiet. Since she knows all the people involved (in more than one way), she might have told him. (long shot) At this point, without concrete proof, I would just shutup and hope for the best.

I would concur with nikkeimaster in keeping mouth shut;

not point in stirring things up;

reminds me of SK's PM when he was still around ( and don't ask )

let nature run her course

give the girl a chance to prove herself before pointing a finger at her

I would be interested to know what's the ultimatum though ...................

Let me look at from another angle ...

If I (recently ?) married some girl, would I like it if one of my best friends told me he had her before the fact ?

It depends on one's personality (only you would know his) but I'd be mad as hell because you should have told me
before the marrage - then and only then I would have had a chance to decide ....
Too late bro ... no matter how good your intentions you're going to end up on the wrong end of the stick.
Bro Sul gave some good advise - let nature run its course and let them develop, for good or for bad.

The only untimatum I can think off is pregnancy ... but girls (especially from Shanghai) are notorious for their
ability in getting what they want from men.

Yes, good advice. But exactly what is it that the girl has done that is so bad? She found a guy that could better her life - as SiMianFo said, isn't that what girls do everywhere? There's nothing in sexpert's few words that indicate the girl is guilty of anything.

Maybe sexpert's friend is an old ugly loser, and the girl is a 25 yr-old beauty; in which case, she exchanged her youth and beauty for security. Is that so different than what girls do the world over. And when you got married, did your wife give you a report of every guy she slept with before marriage?

Underneath all these negative comments is the assumption that Mainland girls are all scheming bitches. Never take anything for granted my friends, because, sooner or later, life will make a fool of you.

Thanks for all the advice but I am still stuck in the same place because I have opinions on both sides of the board.

I am actually more worried about our house parties in NYC.  Every Xmas, we throw a huge bash at our house with all our friends, spouses and kids.  Last thing I need is for that bitch to tell my wife that I go back to China to bang broads.  I have also banged his new wife's best friends too.  I am not the only one who is shitting bricks, my other two friends who banged her also are worried about her snitching to their wives.  Man, the shit is going to hit the fan.  

We had a "hangout meeting" last night and we are pretty sure we are going to tell him that she is a whore and to cancel everything.  We simply CANNOT take that chance of her busting all of us.  We will never leave the state of NY for the rest of our lives unless we get divorced.

We were actually kind of pissed at his stupidity last night.  Perhaps it was the 2 cases of Heineken talking but we plan to have a boys night out this Saturday and give him our ultimatum.  Or else we will just simple tell our wives that we are no longer cool with him.  Sigh...  fucken idiot.

But if you tell your friend, he'll tell his wife, and then she'll certainly find some way to tell your wife everything.

Sexpert, you're going to screw over your friend's marriage just to save your own ass?! I thought you were concerned with HIS well-being.

In any case, you tell him and your fucked, because it WILL come out. Hell, your friend might even be so pissed at you that HE'LL tell your wife - or maybe 5 years down the road after he's taken to drink to stifle the pain and humiliation of the whole thing, he'll start writing letters.

My advice, arrange a private meeting with your friend's wife and discuss it with her. She has just as much reason as you to keep it all under wraps. Then avoid all social meetings with the couple.

[ Last edited by  Marsupial at 4-1-2008 01:23 ]

Better him than us!  I am not going to risk my marriage for some SZ whore.  My 2 other friends agree as well.  If anything, we will just cut the ties and friendship from him.  He is not the type who will tell.  Plus he lives pretty far from where we live, so chances are, we will not end up bumping into them.  3 marriages vs. 1 possible green card runaway.  We have way too much to lose.   I will keep everyone updated.

bro. sexpert: I am a little perplexed at your situation. First, you make it sound like you guys are trying to help your friend about his WG wife. Now, it seems that you just want to protect your marriages. However, it seems a little strange to me that the 3 of you never discussed this before the marriage. The only plausible reason is that you three didn't know about the marriage. If you knew about it, this discussion should have taken way ahead of the wedding. I may be naive, but if all of you were banging her and her friends, how can you not know about their planned wedding? Of course, only you know the internal details, so I will defer that to you.  I do hope you can contain the potential damage and everyone can save his marrage.

He went back to China by himself.  He met up with her.  He was thrown an ultimatum.  He got married with a banquet without any of us.  He is now trying to get her a green card and get her into the United States.  We had no idea until last week.  Until then we thought he went back to China to bang chicks.  Sigh...

I have met this bitch.  She was and is out to get a green card out of China.  I have heard many stories of bitches like this who get their green cards and then leave the suckers they married.  I am worried about my friend as well as worried about our marriages.  It took me 200 USD in spending money and a flash of  my passport to make this bitch suck me off and bang me for a week.  She asked for marriage and I said I would think about it.  Obviously I was already married and had no intention in marrying that cunt.

My friend however is a bit naive.  Hell, if she left him, he may kill himself.  Who knows?  Sigh...  he was always the runt in the group, the only one not married yet, the one we used to throw the fatties and uglies to when we went clubbing in our younger years.  We warned him about these China cunts.  Sigh...  right now, we are trying to just stop this.  This bitch is one of those who constantly bang guys until she finds one sucker to marry her and take her out of China.

Perhaps we have our lines crossed, but this is a huge problem in China.  We felt hesitation when he was telling us.  I think he can probably stop the immigration process immediately without an repercussions.  I just hope he doesn't marry her, for our sakes and for his sake.

bros before hoes.

I 'd lie to a girl for a bro.  Even if he is cheating with 100 women and she's the nicest thing in the world.  He's a bro and as a bro, I'm all loyal and true.

I'd never protect a woman even if she is in the right.  I respect and love all the women I know, but when it comes to making a choice, everyone knows I'll tattle against a woman, but never against a bro.

The ho you're talking about seems evil.  I'd tell in an instant.  No thinking if she will turn out to be the best wife. That's for her to prove.  But my bros know and trust me to the fullest.  Since my h.s. days.  to my grave.

Intervention?  No.  But my opinion and my support no matter what.  If he decides for marriage, I'd state my opinion and what I've done.  Noshame in banging an unmarried ho, even if I'm married.  Bros are supposed to understand. My bros at least.  otherwise, get yourself someoneyou can trust to go with you to China for banging hos.  


Peace out

You have definitely chosen the low road here sexpert! Man you are one sorry piece of work.

2 questions;

1. How old is the friend?

2. Was he aware of her previous activities?

Thinking aloud...............................
If I was the girl, would I go round telling the wives of those who have shagged me before? What would I stand to gain? Shouldn't I keep a low profile and try to avoid them in case they tell my future husband about my previous encounters?

Good point, hit the nail on the head !

*return smack across the back of head*   (never done it before but it feels good)

that was for getting into this shitty mess in the first place.  the other bros have given good analysis of the situation and provided good advice.  I just have to hammer it in your head.

1.  Your friend should know the background of this new wife.  If he doesn't you should try to make him understand and tell him about her potential devious motives and consequences.
2.  Have a meeting with your friend and all other bros involved and persuade him to stop it using reasons above
3.  If he doesn't listen then tell him the truth that you guys banged her.  If he can swallow this, tell him the danger of her wife ratting the other bros out.  If he is still undeterred, then tell him that all family and friends gathering in the future will not include him or his wife.

None of us know anything about the friend's true feelings for his new wife, so who are we to advise sexpert to prevent his friend's marriage?

And as far as warning about devious motives; maybe we should also tell HK guys never to marry HK girls, because of the local girls' devious motives - i.e., money.

As for other guys banging her, how many of us have married virgins?